zeitgeist.

this movie was amazing.

my favorite game in the world is winterbells. i play it every time i get on my computer. i haven't played much since i got back home but hey, it feels good to get away from all the video games! my high score is 4,337,890... if that means anything.

i played backgammon today for the first time. i could really get the hang of that game, it's great.

i love my family and friends.

the fear! the fear! the fear!

defiance, ohio has a new cd out! well, maybe it's not out yet. i'm trying to find it where i can until i get some cash together to buy a physical copy of it. this is one of those timeless bands i actually pay money to support. check it out.

SO EXCITED!!!!

while you're at it, indytorrents music section has some amazing stuff up. i'm pretty sure every single download on this page is amazing. hell, the whole catalog is great.

kitty wigs.

im always up for another adorable way to torture my molly. i'm thinking pink passion.

kitty wigs!

everything is grey.

i recently picked up one of the best books i own at a club in new york city. it's called the polaroid project. xiu xiu basically took a polaroid camera on tour across the country and took pictures of things while they explored. the book gives you a sense of what it's like to travel around the states and see new things under a dull travelers lens.. not really picking up everything but catching a steady glimpse of what others understand home to be. there are a few words from jamie and caralee as well as friends who traveled with them. at first glance the book comes off as a boring mess of discarded pictures.. kind of the way their music initially comes off as unwelcoming and painful. but, as expected, when you read through it for what it's worth- really thinking about where each picture was taken and how it kind of represents itself- you get a warm sense of wandering.

i think wandering is my favorite thing to do. i constantly wander in my mind in thoughts and daydreams.. my night dreams are vivid and full of life.. my life tries to wander but gets caught up in routine. when routine kicks in my mind wanders the most. i don't think it's unhealthy. i'm not upset by it. i think many people get upset by my wandering..

it's hard to tell when a problem is really a problem or some normal activity blown out of proportion. all problems are relative. i spend alot of time thinking about my problems as they apply to myself versus the way they apply to the people around me. i almost always end up in this position of labeling something right when others label it wrong. mostly i discard the thought- if i'm ok with it then it's ok. every now and then the ethical dilemma escalates- i ask myself should i change?

i live with few limits. i have a few goals and a few obligations. other than that, i'm absolutely free to my environment. i stop to smell every rose. i pause to take every breath.
i didn't really learn the word patience until i was in an environment lacking it.. wondering what is the word for rushing through life with routine and exhaustion? i'd never used that word before. never needed it.

recently i find myself using this word every day. patience. i hear it's a virtue. i only hope i will never lose this virtue- it is the most comforting feeling i can imagine. to be patient and to wander. to have all the confidence in the world that i can go somewhere completely new at any time to enrich my experience. i think the best music, art and literature is that which completely takes me away and makes me ask questions to understand the source. this way i can make it mine without imposing or upsetting others. i live to find the beauty in this crazy world i call home.

it isn't the words or the pictures.. it's the feeling behind them that tells the story. and how lucky am i that i can find a feeling in between the lines.

reik.